Death: Process, and Information
Very much how any death goes, starting with the process of actual dying, survivors’ various reactions to this, and, picking-up-the-pieces, the start-up of estate biz. The whole dealing with a house and the things that remain to be done to ‘close down a life’, a house, and a large chunk of tangible family history is also a huge process, having mostly to do with information–finding it, digging for it, verifying it, sharing it with complete strangers (for instance, in the informational processes of obituary and funeral, or with banks, companies, government, etc.), all the while immersing oneself in a large information context. And so it is, with death, dying, grieving, and closing down: process and information, quite aside from whatever memories, associations, surprises, secrets revealed, and so forth.
Moving Forward after Death
All about movement (opening windows of houses to let air in, cleaning-up, reorganizing what’s left of a life and that information). Determining and securing what’s left. Making numerous choices. Dealing with burial and financial matters. Obtaining what remains or is available–any entitlements. Cancelling, cancelling, cancelling–taking apart and closing down a life and any physical, more tangible sense of a person, a life, a history, and an ‘estate’.
What Remains After
Passing, ongoing memories and associations. Happy times, connections , relationships. Funny moments. Funny quotes and situations. Whatever good the deceased did for others. A long list really. Plus whatever ‘ghosting’–the never-ending intrusions on one’s present and future reality when one feels the presence of the deceased and honours who they were and what they said and did. Are the dead ever really gone or simply obliterated? No, as long as there are survivors who find the deceased in the course of the process after death. An unexpected, pleasurable, welcome presence–itself a comforting knowledge and residual information that come as close to immortality as time and human experience permits.
Regardless of death, it is best to live in the here-and-now, making plans, living fully by one’s values and dreams, making personal choices for our own allotted limited amounts of living and time alive. Death creates focus. Death affords us the opportunity of authentic living, and helps us to concentrate the mind, its consciousness and choices. Ironically, death–more than anything else–gives our whole lives meaning and purpose.