Detective Face

The mystery of two
Oh, I’m investigating you
Your file’s incomplete
You’re in custody now.

No charge for a first consult
I can look after everything
That needs personalized attention, m’am.

Make yourself at home
While I review your case
I’ll get a man on it now
Most likely me

I’d rather work alone
With you if you don’t mind
Easier to stay on top of things that way
If you know what I mean.

Just give me a rundown
Of everything you know
Full disclosure.

You can give me the once-over.
See if you like
My detective face.

Just leave me a number
Where you can be reached
And I’ll get to the bottom of this.

No need to worry
About a fee or downpayment
I’ll collect later
If we go overtime.


Actually something I wrote to go with a piece on a demo tape by a local jazz genius , when we were doing some collaborating. Cannot be read seriously. Smarmy innuendo-ed cliche-talk of your average hard-boiled private detective.

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