Each Day

We start with whatever routines–cleaning up, making beds, having breakfast, reading the news, etc. Aspects of regularity–illusions of temporary permanence. For the most part, though, there is always new or changing incoming information that we have to process–changes involving self, family, relationships, work and so forth. Change and process remain the main constants each day.

A lot of our lives have to do with processing the information of seeing family off, driving to work, planning what we are likely to encounter in a day. “The readiness is all”–definitely. Certainly if one has backup plans and imagined responses. For there is likely to be the unexpected anyway–a lane blocked off suddenly, gas running low, a cyclist zipping across in front of your car, coworkers who don’t show up. To some extent, the longer one lives, the less one is surprised by how much randomness and arbitrariness there really is in one’s day despite whatever best-laid plans of mice and wo/men.

I am never surprised at how little many people ever get done or successfully accomplish. (This tends to be the rule rather than the occasional exceptions.) Our fates, especially in urban life, depend largely on others and our various social relationships. We cannot do some things without the will or cooperation of others and predictability–the latter which is hard at best to even guesstimate.

A lot of the above led me to ‘dropping out’ to a large degree and charting my own course. The simpler one’s life is and the fewer people one needs or is dependent on does remove much of the stress and confusion typically encountered by overly-connected people or in the lives of those, say, who see hundreds in a day. How much noise, madness, negative attitudes, and other people’s unchangeable problems does an individual need?

I always come back to self. One has to live with oneself. One has to be good to oneself in order to be good or helpful to others, ironically. That’s just the way it is. And what about one’s own life, one’s missing pieces, and the responsibility to one’s own soul, spirit, mind, body, development, and learning?

I think we often miss the big picture and what’s important especially when working with others, working in any front-line situation–whether nurse, teacher, or receptionist. Too many others–especially those we don’t really want to have anything to do with–obscures the clarity of our own lives and purpose. One must never confuse one’s job or role with being anything resembling deep, long-lasting personal satisfaction, the ability to┬áinnerly cope, or the possibilities of significant personal growth. These are not automatically compatible, mutually overlapping aspects.

But, hey, only one’s deeper self, soul, or spirit could ever provide the requisite answer to such questions and the necessary thoughtful self-examination to fare forward and move on to more fulfilling living.

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