Gifts of Self–Dean-o

The only capital-L Legend I Ihave personally known. Dean lived a Very Large Life and contained many multitudes, but–relevant to the theme of the past two weeks–he had and bestowed his many gifts of self on others and the world. He is the most complete man and person that I have ever personally known.

And his gifts of self just keep on giving after his death. On Friday at the big memorial celebration (by far the best I’ve ever attended), many people spoke who had been influenced by him and touched by his gifts of self. This manifested itself in e-mails, speeches, anecdotes, performances, howls, a slideshow, and videos.Terry McDade played his harp, a piper piped in Mac’s family, and jazzers Andrew Glover and Charlie Austin also came to play,

And then Dean ‘upstaged’ everybody in several videos and recorded performances–his gifts of self still giving, magically, beyond the surface reality, blessing us all with his words and music. He was in the room with us all over again, sharing the best he could offer–the best of himself in various intimate settings.

I read two of his perspicacious, transcendent pieces–one about an urban rainstorm, the other about infinity (!!!). It was the least I could do to draw his fans’ and followers’ attentions to his particular genius, his remarkable depth, richness, and seriousness as a poet, and his complete mastery of The Word. And, by request, I impromptuly read one of his naughty, humorous, Whitmanesque pieces with the band. A facsimile/reminder of his performing self and the many improv performances we had given together in the past.

Dean, in my opinion, was the reigning contemporary poet in Edmonton, Alberta, and Canada. His recorded work was the best to ever come out of the local scene by a poet. He will long be remembered by the many people whose lives he touched. I, too, am a very lucky man to have known him, to have been close to him, and to have performed with him. It does/did not get better than that for a friend and fellow poet.

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The Gifts of Self

The baby and young child start life as gifts, unbeknownst to themselves. They are what they are, naturally, as much as a beautiful, undisturbed landscape or animal in the wild. Consciousness is relatively undeveloped through the early years. And when children are bad or are hard on themselves, it is the early consciousness without perspective that again cannot see that the individual is and has been– a gift per se, as is, in all his or her relative innocence and ignorance.

There may eventually come a point in the teen years and early adult years when the individual becomes more aware of receiving the special gifts of others. It may be the case of an aunt bequeathing a favorite painting, a grandfather bequeathing a car to a young married couple, or simply the awareness of a family member or friend giving up their time and acting for the individual in some important, meaningful way.

Our first significant relationships often have an element of the gifts of self–individuals doing or offering their best for others, sometimes willing to sacrifice much for the other, fortunate person. Weddings often have a strong sense of this mutual gifting–a free, voluntary sharing of the best of one’s self.

This theme, likewise, runs through certain occupations and work such as counselling, teaching, and nursing. The best people in those areas open themselves up and offer their best to others who want or need it. And we may also find that it is our friends, from high school on, who offer the most memorable gifts of self, without asking anything in return, these special people without agendas who are apolitical in what they offer others.

Life goes on and at some point, we may wake up and review our pasts and find, recognize, and appreciate the many special gifts of self we may either have taken for granted or not fully understood and appreciated. This may turn out to be a very long list with many faces from past and present. We may also stop to consider, in turn, how and when we ourselves were gifts of self to others.

I think in later life you can often see a belated recognition of the gifts of self in occasions such as funerals where there is, typically, albeit belatedly unfortunately, celebrations of lives. Although it is good for survivors, family and friends to hear of the special gifts of self, too often the testimonies of appreciation are too late–things that were not said to the face of the person when he or she was alive.

No, the best time to offer, accept, and appreciate the special gifts of people is when folks are more fully conscious and alive. For there are many a desert flower and Eleanor Rigby who have lived and died without that deserved attention, experience, recognition, and love. Simply put–the power, magic, and importance of giving and receiving the very special Gifts of Self.

……………………………………

Two other obvious areas of gifts of self are in and through the arts and great people of history. This is a theme I will come back to this spring….

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A Caution to Everybody

(on occasion of the meteorite and asteroid, Feb. 15, and the comet March 12, 2013)

Dazzling & bright
eye m just visiting
yr loco galaxy

a whimsical bit
of cosmic mass
from `somewhere else.`

Entering yr atmosphere
eye plunge comet-like
thru clouds of destiny

sidereal satellite
of the last 1/4
my magnitude unlimited.

Don`t look 2 long
at my radiants tho`
lest eye scorch yr
site 4 good–

……………………..

an oldie from 1989 AD with a hybrid mix of pre-textspeak and bill bissett

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Agendas, Politics–That Crapola

I don’t have much use for agendas and politics. Within about 30 seconds of meeting someone for the first time (I exaggerate), I usually know if they come with a goal of seeing others as a means to an end; sometimes, they are more obviously games-players, fakes, or manipulators. This awareness is not so much based on cynicism as it is on perceptiveness, aging, and experience. People often quickly advertise what they are about through appearance, action, or words, in any case. Sort of like Mrs. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice or Gordon Gekko in Wall Street.

There are, of course, agendas in relationships. Someone badly wants to get married and have kids; someone else may want the convenience of a live-in lover or ‘shack-up’ as some of the lower classes term it. There is a politics, too, to such things as taking out the garbage, cleaning toilets, preparing meals, and housekeeping. So agendas and politics are often strongly built into even the most loving, benevolent of relationships.

Is it any wonder that as many marriages break up today or that most relationships have a transient, disposable quality to them–a far cry from ye olde marrying for life, ‘through thick and thin’? Commitment, patience, and adaptability have all taken hits in modern attempts at relationships. Who can one trust, and for how long, especially when people enter relationships with given agendas and ready, in an instant, to politicize their positions and roles?

Children themselves often become the victim-pawns of relationship agendas as in the classic song “You’d Better Sit Down Kids”. When separation and divorce become the priority, the questions become ‘Who gets the dog, the house, the cars, and the kids?’ Again, politics–much as in the case of the potential politics of grandparenting–where questions may arise as to who gets to visit or look after a newborn more/most. Both these elements are potentially built into any (ironically, innocent) new life from birth.

Both elements are, likewise, potentially built into friendships. Samuel Johnson’s essay on friendship explores this theme in his essay on friendship. His view is that friendship often ends when friends cross each other or demand too much of the other. To this, I would add that agendas and politics are often absent or minimal in the best friendships–which gives them a unique altruistic, empathic value not found elsewhere in other, often physically closer relationships, ironically.

Of the workplace, I could speak much, having seen nothing but agendas and politics every which way, most noticeable in fiefdom-style staff meetings where ‘democratic input’ is supposedly invited, but often ignored, or countered in actual subsequent practices and policies. Of strikes, even the most spirited and heartfelt of them–I have a very low opinion and zero faith, having seen so many well-intentioned, common-sense strikes fail dismally when countered by unresponsive, ‘non-blinking’ authoritarian attitudes. There are many people who have needlessly ‘died’ while advancing agendas in rigged political games where authoritarian deafness rules; i.e., ‘It’s my way or the highway.’ That’s not to say, though, that I don’t believe there are things worth fighting for. Just that people have to pick which fields they will choose and are ready to ‘die on’.

My own life has been pleasantly, beatifically free of politics and agendas since I retired. I no longer go off daily, Don Quixote-style, to fight losing battles and no longer have to contend with agendas except for junk mail, omnipresent advertising, and solicitation phone calls. Relative to them, I know which causes or agendas I support and have some feeling about donating to, and don’t need anyone else to take up my personal time or to, intrusively, distract me.

The real needs of others typically come down to family and family has remained first priority for me. So there are those responsibilities I still believe in, buy into, and fulfill. And the rest of the agendas and politicking can go to heck as far as I’m concerned. (Or more politely–there are many problems that are beyond my sphere, my knowledge, interest, and remaining time, that will have to be solved or battled for by others with their own interests and agendas. It’s a big world after all, and one is better staying focused on what is most important to oneself and one’s family and friends. The money, votes, recruits, and general surrender of critically-thinking selves will have to be generated from other sources. And the rest will just have to take care of itself in the using of and manipulating others.)

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Waterscape

by Dean McKenzie

(a memory from Cafe le Gare, 1989, reading with Dean for the first time…)

In the rain mirror
the city is downside-up.
The silvery splash of mist drops
in a cloud of grey:
sheets of glazed pavement
reflect the urban vertical.
Two distant points vanish:
one is invisible above my head.
All the mist hides it–the rain source–
a pinnacle of ultimate wet
at the zenith.
It spits its nickel-silver life-breath stream
down down down…
Down to the pavement that holds it flat.
Splash concentric waves
micro-duplicate tsunami
Yet hold flat–
MIrroring glass-concrete-people
And splashes their reflections
down, down
Down to a nadir of light-warp
Far beneath my feet.
Down to a
Second vanishing point at
the darkest edge of vision–
surreal–
Yet my eye beholds the invert
as far less wearying
than the grey wet figures of
virtual image above water-ground.
There, in glass, concrete, steel, pavement
human motion ceases
And all is waterfall to create mirror.

If I squint as I stare straight down
I see myself at the
very bottom of this rainscape.

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When the Legends Die…

001 (5)

Dean Morrison McKenzie (on right)

Friend, Poet, Spirit of the Great Heart

(d. Feb. 4, 2013)

The Gifts of Vision and Consciousness

…………………

Above picture, fall 1990 at Southgate, Woodward’s Books.  Spiritus reading to the Saturday afternoon throngs at an autograph session. We stopped hundreds at one point in the impromptu reading. Amazing moment of being.

 

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Oscar Wilde on True Love

“If you want a red rose,” said the Tree, “you must build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with your own heart’s-blood. You must sing to me with your breast against a thorn.”
………………….

“…for only a Nightingale’s heart’s-blood can crimson the heart of a rose.”
…………………

“All that I ask of you in return is that you will be a true lover….”             …………………

“What a silly thing Love is!”                                                                                          …………………

“…and he threw the rose into the street, where it fell into the gutter, and a cart-wheel went over it.”

–“The Nightingale and the Rose”

……………………………

Ah, -ve personal experience with a touch of cynicism expressed with the forthrightness of Wilde.

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Truer Words Were Never Spoken: Shakespeare

There are many quotable lines and speeches taken from Shakespeare: “Beware the Ides of March”, “It was Greek to me.” , “Romeo, Rome, wherefore art thou Romeo?”, but some have a greater ring of truth than others and I have selected some below which have stood out for or influenced me significantly.

“Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.”                                                              -Midsummer Night’s Dream

(a romantic/idealistic view of love, but perhaps a more significant version than the sensory or physical kind)

“Nothing can come of nothing.”                                                                                           -King Lear

(one needs something to work with if one is going to produce anything/get anywhere–for instance, there have to be words, experiences, imaginings, facts, some context, etc. in order to create)

“Can one desire too much of a good thing?                                                                        -As You Like It

(good question; the questioning of surfeit occurs elsewhere in S’s poems and plays; no doubt people are/get disappointed whenever a good thing ceases)

“True it is that we have seen better days.”                                                                         -As You Like It

(as one matures and ages, there will be better days and experiences that are recalled when the going gets tough or one is having an off-day or rough patch)

“Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.”                                                                    -Romeo and Juliet

(this advice often comes in handy especially for young or immature people and old/er people who can physically hurt themselves if moving too fast or incautiously)

“True nobility is exempt from fear.”                                                                                    -Henry VI, Part II

(those we respect and look up to often display courage and a lack of fear even in difficult situations or crises)

“I bear a charmed life.”                                                                                                        -Macbeth

(though, Macbeth, ironically said this before his fall, still in all, we ourselves will have our lucky days and successes and we may even feel that, on balance, we are lucky people.)

“The play’s the thing.”
–Hamlet

(much of life seems like a play, as reflected in other Shakespearean quotes; this may help us to better understand our lives if we appreciate the wisdom of this metaphor.)

“The native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought.”
-Hamlet

(we have all procrastinated about various things in our lives, simply by delaying and thinking too much about them without taking action.)

“There is a diivinity that shapes our ends,
Rough-hew them how we will.”
-Hamlet

(often there are times when we feel that there is a fate or destiny beyond whatever personal choices we make.)

“We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.”
-The Tempest

(at times and in the long run, life can tire you out literally; ironically, too we spend a lot of our life dreaming as well as sleeping; much about our lives is basically illusion or dream-like )

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
-As You Like It

(we’ve certainly run into both types of people and understandings; there is irony either way–much of life, as shown in Shakespeare’s writing, is ironic, ambiguous, and paradoxical–these factors are reflected, likewise, in life experience.)

“Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
-Midsummer Night’s Dream

(a lot of human behavior is foolish/absurd which is not surprising given our love of humor and play; we certainly do take ourselves too seriously at times–something mentioned in the previous quote.)

“There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.”
-Julius Caesar

(Timing is very important, as Shakespeare often points out; one has to act when ‘opportunity knocks’ if one wants to be successful in some way; one has to ‘ride the wave’ and ‘go with the flow’ when there are ‘windows’.)

“What’s gone and what’s past help
Should be past grief.”
-Winter’s Tale                                                                                                      

(something Robert Frost matter-of-factly records in his “‘Out, Out–‘” poem about the accidental death of a boy–“And,they, since they/ Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs”; there is nothing wrong with facing/accepting facts and stoicism in matters of death.)

“Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.”
-Hamlet

(there seems to be a lot of dishonesty in so many different social situations–cheating on taxes, white lies, plagiarism, etc.; it is always refreshing to meet an outwardly honest person.) 

“Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all.”
-Henry VI, Part II

(perspective–judging is easy and common; we all make mistakes; no one is perfect)

“Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement.”
-Hamlet

(same as above, hold off on easy and fast judgements; be prepared to get judged a lot in the process; it is a good idea to listen closely, too, and get all the facts before responding.)

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”
-Hamlet

(this applies to a lot of people who have hidden possibilities and potential, often unknown to themselves.)

“The course of true love never did run smooth.”
-Midsummer Night’s Dream

(it is hard to be pleasant or happy at all times with one’s significant other–no relationship is perfect; there will be upsets, hardships, setbacks, and challenges.)

“Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.”
-Twelfth Night

(sometimes one can look too hard for love; sometimes one gets lucky and someone finds us and loves us anyway.)

“To hold, as t’were, the mirror up to nature.”
-Hamlet

(there is some point to this process–what Hamlet did to Gertrude in the closet scene–it may not be easy but be necessary, nonetheless, to level with people and show who they are and how they are behaving with the end of improvement in mind–‘tough love’)

“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”
-Troilus and Cressida

(nature definitely is what we are a part of, what we arise from; there are many benefits to incorporating nature in our lives and being close to it; potentially, a very positive, renewing and fulfilling relationship.)

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
-Hamlet

(although we may know quite a bit and figure we have a handle on stuff, there are many mysteries and unknowns; these come into play and influence us in significant ways.)

“I am a man
More sinn’d against than sinning.”
-King Lear                                                                                                                    

(this does happen sometime that those who are blamed can also be victimized or marginalized as Lear was; Shakespeare is often perspectively ‘measuring things’ and is concerned about fairness or injustices as much as crimes or mistakes.)

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
-Hamlet

(many situations are relative and not always black-and-white matters; there are usually multiple perspectives on the same thing, different and differing viewpoints; we always reach our conclusions about something through our own thinking; there is ultimately a subjectivity to the process of morality, ethics, and our personal choices.)

“To thine own self be true.”
-Hamlet

(the title of this blog/site; always a starting and reference point; it is usually good to follow your gut instinct when not sure.)

“Brevity is the soul of wit.”
-Hamlet

(Shakespeare intended many meanings for ‘wit’–it can refer to humor and intelligence. Most people prefer concise speeches and humor, brief e-mails, and people getting to the point quickly, clearly, and sometime humorously.)

“For I am nothing if not critical.”
-Othello

(that judgemental side of humanity referred to above; certainly most people have something to criticize and complain about.)

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ’em.”
-Twelfth Night

(beyond the quote’s context, some, indeed, are seemingly different, unusual, and unconventional, seemingly marked from birth for greatness; I can’t think of a famous person from history who didn’t have to work to achieve whatever fame and greatness he or she had; it is true, also, that some people are lucky to be in the right place at the right time or become great perhaps undeservedly.)

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts.”
-As You Like It

(life is a play and the metaphors here clarify in what ways and senses that is true; we experience many scenes and other actors every day.)

“The quality of mercy is not strain’d…
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”
-Merchant of Venice

(mercy is good and necessary in some cases; and it does benefit the people who judge as much as the people who are judged–many people need a break; it is good to cut slack in non-life-and-death matters.)

“We have heard the chimes at midnight.”
-Henry IV, Part II

(at some point, we have all stayed up late having fun or carousing, enjoying life)

“When sorrows come, they come not single spies,
But in battalions!”
-Hamlet

(seemingly, once we experience troubles, they often mysteriously multiply)

“If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it”
-Twelfth Night

(beautiful music is extremely pleasurable and satisfying; one can never get enough of it; beautiful music and love go together, complement each other)

“The poet’s eye, in a fine frenzy rolling,
Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven;
And as imagination bodies forth
The forms of things unknown, the poet’s pen
Turns them to shapes, and gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name.”
-A Midsummer Night’s Dream

(truly inspired poets and writers use imagination to create something fine out of nothing) 

“In delay there lies no plenty.”
-Twelfth Night

(no point in wasting time especially if one is trying to or needs to accomplish something)

“Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleave of care,
The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast.”
-Macbeth

(sleep is very important and does relieve our worries, restores our faculties, and enables us to go on)

“Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie.
Which we ascribe to heaven.”
-All’s Well That Ends Well

(too often people rely too much on outside others or external forces to solve our problems; in that, ultimate responsibility for one’s own life)

“All that live must die,
Passing through nature to eternity.”
-Hamlet

(the fact of mortality of all of nature; ‘no one gets out alive’)

“Use every man after his desert and who would ‘scape whipping?”
-Hamlet

(we all make mistakes, have sinned; a certain amount of mercy, leniency, or forgiveness is fair/always a good idea)

“We must speak by the card, or equivocation will undo us.”
-Hamlet

(imperfect language is our medium of communication; we need to be clear in what say and intend or others will not understand or misunderstand us.)

“The readiness is all.”
-Hamlet

(the readiness for when the time to decide, choose, or act comes)

“The time of life is short;
To spend that shortness basely were too long.”
Henry IV, Part 2

(we need to spend our time judiciously, thoughtfully, sensitively, usefully)

“O! for a Muse of fire, that would ascend,
The brightest heaven of invention.”
-Henry V

(the grandest call for inspiration and to creative expression)

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
-Julius Caesar

(again, we are responsible for what happens to us; character is destiny)

“But I am constant as the northern star,
Of whose true fixed and resting quality
There is no fellow in the firmament.”
-Julius Caesar

(a statement of integrity and unchangeability, but potentially, too, one of stubbornness)

“How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
To have a thankless child!”
-King Lear

(a parent’s worst nightmare: a child’s ingratitude or abusiveness)

“I am tied to the stake, and must stand the course.”
-King Lear

(there always will be those moments when one can’t run, hide, or dodge conflict, crisis, and suffering)

“The wheel is come full circle.”
-King Lear

(it does, from time to time, whether good or bad, and we find history repeating itself or familiar situations and recurring truths all over again)

“Fair is foul, and foul is fair.”
-Macbeth

(well no one’s perfect’ e.g., Macbeth; sometimes what is fair to someone is foul to someone else–the basic matter of perspective; this is a core life statement which can also refer to the transitions between good and evil, positive and negative situations; given life’s dualities and ambiguities, this is pretty core stuff)

“Nothing is,                                                                                                                      But what is not.”
-Macbeth

(not surprisingly from the same play, but you can also find many examples of this quote as well in Hamlet, Othello, King Lear;  core stuff: appearances can be deceptive, are not always what they seem; reality and illusion are difficult to sort out even on good days!)

“There’s nothing serious in mortality.”
-Macbeth

(very existentialist thought: death is a fact, common, needs to be accepted; this existential point affects an individual’s attitude)

“To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death,
Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
-Macbeth

(the poetry of the depressed and nihilistic, the lost soul; life is absurd seen a certain way; well if you were Macbeth….)

“Men should be what they seem,”
-Othello

(would that were true, but people are sometimes not what they seem as proven by experience)

“Then you must speak
Of one that loved not wisely but too well.”
-Othello

(one can love too much or make mistakes in love; ironically, there are many instances of people, like Othello, hurting or even killing others because they loved them ‘too much’)

“He jests at scars, that never felt a wound.”
-Romeo and Juliet

(very true–once you’ve been hurt, it is possible you will become less sarcastic or more sensitive to others’ pain and suffering)

“These violent delights have violent ends.”
-Romeo and Juliet

(a cautionary note: violence breeds violence–an old story; lots of examples in the headlines)

“How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world
That has such people in ‘t!”
-The Tempest

(true on a good day or a lucky day; there are lots of interesting, ‘beautiful’ people out there; one often stumbles over/onto them)

“When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state.”
-Sonnet 29

(failure can be personally isolating and depressing;  ‘1 is the loneliest number’, though the rest of this poem is about the power of true friendship and love–the remedy for  alienation)

“Haply I think on thee–and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
that then I scorn to change my state with kings.”
-Sonnet 29

(the rest of the above sonnet–a case of solution for problem, Shakespeare-style)

“Not marble, nor gilded monuments
of princes shall outlive this powerful rhyme.”
-Sonnet 55

(the power of great writing, good literature)

“Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or tends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark.”
-Sonnet 116

(if it’s the real thing, it is not subject to the forces of change)

“Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come.”
-Sonnet 116

(ditto, with a note on aging and maturation)

“The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust.
-Sonnet 129

(a rather broad-based view of physical lust, but as usual candid Shakespeare is right; in this case, about the loss or waste of spirit and the extremes of lust)

“All that glisters is not gold.”
-Merchant of Venice

(we’ve all been there; if it looks too good…, the deceptiveness of favorable appearances; also, this quote is about true value and how it is not necessarily  guaranteed in the case of materialism or material acquisition)

“The dog will have his day.”
-Hamlet                                                                                                                      

(even your favorite underdog sports team may win the odd game)

“Thereby hangs a tale.”
-Taming of the Shrew

(it’s often the story that is most interesting or back of whatever event; we have all lived, told, read, and heard stories; story is a basic metaphor for our lives, much as in the previous play metaphor quotes of Shakespeare)

“If it were done, when ’tis done, then ’twere well
it were done quickly.”
-Macbeth

(excluding murder, one sometimes needs to take decisive action and this is often best done quickly for various reasons) 

“Dost thou think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?”
-Twelfth Night

(the moral of Prohibition; people will continue to pursue pleasure even if you encourage them to do otherwise; that is, human nature is what it is and some people cannot be changed)

“I must be cruel only to be kind.”
-Hamlet

(presumptuous Dr. Phil stuff–very popular these daze; ‘tough love’; but we sometimes ‘have people’s better interests at heart’)

“I am not what I am.”
-Othello

(more on the deceptiveness of appearances; the irony of evil, too)

“For ’tis sport to have the enginer
Hoist with his own petard”
-Hamlet

(it can be pleasurable to outwit others, especially those that are trying to manipulate or destroy us)

“More matter with less art”
-Hamlet

(“Brevity is the soul of wit’ revisited; a plea for substance since style is easy and can get in the way of communication or the message)

“What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals.”
-Hamlet

(more ‘on a good day’ stuff; can be true–inspirational stuff; after all, there is art, charity, law, civilization, etc.)

“There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow.”
-Hamlet

(one of those heads-ups; a call to pay attention to ‘signs’; maybe we are getting messages, maybe there is a greater, larger, unseen plan)

“Who steals my purse steals trash.”
-Othello

(Shakespeare, cynically, on money; what’s it worth? as this play points out, compared to honour and reputation, for instance; there are far more valuable, important and essential things than mere money; “All that glisters…”)

“But I have that within which passes show.’
-Hamlet

(most people do; but we often judge on the basis of physical appearance; as Hamlet later points out and as Iago pointed out, appearances can be faked and both characters get into that game)

“I do not know
Why yet I live to say this thing’s to do,
Sith I have cause, and will, and strength, and means to do ‘t.”
-Hamlet

(laziness? procrastination? uncertainty? indecision? fear? cowardice? there are many reasons why people put off doing what they should do)

“The time is out of joint–O cursed spite,
that ever I was born to set it right!”
-Hamlet

(it ain’t gonna be easy, but someone’s gotta bell that cat or take out Claudius in Hamlet’s case; there are always difficult things or dilemmas that hang us up; often the question simply becomes ‘Uh, who else is going to take care of biz’?)

“To be, or not to be, that is the question.”
-Hamlet

(not just a question of whether to live or die and why; also about being in the sense of taking action or becoming what one needs to become–basic stuff again)

“What’s done, is done.”
-Macbeth

(ironically, not really in this tragedy; at other times, yes, kaputsky–something is over, fini and can’t be revisited or changed down the road)

“The whirligig of time”
-Twelfth Night

(doesn’t that image give some sense of time flying and the neverending swirl of days and years? what Joni Mitchell called “The Circle Game”–we’re all on the carousel of time)

“Now is the winter of our discontent”
-Richard III

(your typical Canadian winter with accompanying ennui and snowshovelling)

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Role Models and ‘Copying’

Once a teacher….

In terms of whatever hope and optimism for society, the world and new generations, it really comes down to two core things: role-models and ‘copying’. One should always be aware of the roles and responsibilities of being a role-model whether one is a father, grandmother, teacher, media reporter, church leader, or political leader. Truth and honesty are probably the two most important qualities there. It is hard to have credibility or any kind of authority without that kind of integrity.

The fact is that people look for structure and direction from others around them. Leaders are key that way. One certainly can’t expect people to be much different from those they look up to or those who rule them in various ways.

And so it comes down to ‘copying’ what is otherwise known as imitating and assimilating whatever behaviors from contexts and, most importantly, the people who surround us in our daily lives. This fact takes on a particular importance within the life of a newborn, toddler, or school-age child.

What are the values and behaviors that our leaders in those situations espouse and demonstrate for the young? Why should we be surprised if we, who never read, we who swear easily, we who value everything in terms of money produce offspring and new generations of young people who copy and imitate exactly what we are? Why should anyone young do as their elders say rather than do what they do?

How we learn: mostly by imitating, a lot of the time, what we see in the world around us, according to how others behave, how they talk and act. It’s really that simple.
If there is no or little courtesy left from previous times, if cheating is ok, if ‘what everyone else is doing ok, then where is the incentive and significant influences for better behaviors, higher values, and significant positive social change in a world which prizes the freedom to be and act downward to the lowest common denominator, exhibited on such mass-popular tv shows as Survivor, Entertainment Tonight, Sex and the City, Toddlers and Tiaras, or Two and a Half Men?

Too often, the pop cultural swamp caters to the lowest, coarsest, most violent (e.g. America’s gun culture, Canada’s namby-pamby politically correct straitjacket laws and social policies, most videogames) and anti-social behaviors in the name of so-called individual freedom.

Simply put, decent, positive, unconventional alternatives in values, beliefs, behaviors, experiences offer the best and only chances for true diversity, richness, compassion, and civility for the future. And that starts from the ground-up, so to speak in child-raising and education and eventually–let’s hope–in laws, justice, and health care.

Society can fare forward from an understanding of the roles played by role-models and positively demonstrable and demonstrated behaviors and experiences. In that, the potential for well-informed, well-rounded, well-balanced citizens and an alternative to a cyclical morass chasing its own tail of ego-based/limited freedom and the increasing social fabric of restless nothingness.

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Alienation, Within

(first draft)

“Follow your bliss.” “Live from your own centre.'”–Joseph Campbell  

“Since in the world of time every man lives but one life, it is in himself that he must search for the secret of the Garden.”–Loren Eiseley

Alienation is a word which was very popular and in wide use in the 1960s. For example, “blacks in the United States are alienated from whites and should have the vote” or “Women are being alienated by male-dominated society by being underpaid”. Usually, then, the alienation called for and resulted in a variety of social changes–long-forgotten and taken for granted by subsequent generations in the decades that followed.
Alienation, then, often referred to the generation gap and the quite different experiences and behaviors of young and old.

The sense of the term alienation has long–going back to early modern thinkers–such as Fromm and Kierkegaard–referred to a significant separation between social, ethic, and gender groups as well as what might be referred to as ‘personal alienation’.
Personal alienation would refer to the sense and experience of being alienated from others–ironically, today in a wrap-around world of 24/7 smartphones, e-mail, and texting. In some ways these e-devices have made it possible for us to be and remain instantly connected, but do they give us a true closeness beyond a lot of ‘me-ness’ and otherwise, practical, convenient communication?

By and large, our experiences are best known by/to ourselves, no matter how many or how much others may ‘walk in our shoes’. Conversely, we may empathize and even sympathize with others, and have some sense, perception, understanding, or appreciation of their condition, but this will never be exactly, fully, the same as/identical to the actual felt and known experience of someone else. In other words, we are in a permanent state of isolation or alienation from one another–a fact that that usually becomes obvious when someone we know commits a serious crime, gets a divorce, or has a large agenda or crisis we were previously unaware of.

So the question quickly becomes, “Despite whatever apparent connectedness, how close are people really?” or “To what degree are people alienated from others in their lives?” (as in ‘how much alienation’)?

So the further question then becomes one of actual closeness and depth of connection or connectedness with someone else or others. How truly close are people beyond their roles in family, with spouses, friends, workmates, and other groups of people generally speaking?

There is, of course, much restlessness ‘out there’ today in the contemporary scene, that is, lots of ‘lost souls’, unhappy, chronically dissatisfied folks with (and here’s the cue for the next subtopic) many or large ‘missing pieces’?

Alienation, finally, comes down to alienation from self. Those who are restless and incomplete or unhappy are usually separated from their dreams or goals. They are leading false, fakey lives which are largely just roles and performances. In other words, they’re living on and for surfaces, for images, for various self-delusions that often keep them going in some kind of permanent state of alienation from who they really are. In my opinion, roles and performance are easily about 80% minimum of what passes for daily life and immediate purpose and necessity.

Can one be authentic and true to oneself constantly and perpetually playing roles (in public, so to speak)? I think not, especially if following one’s bliss is not reflected in those surfaces. I think that only when one drops the roles and to, some extent, drops out, to find out who one is, without societal or work distraction, can one really begin to understand better ‘who I am’.

Life is a lot easier when one knows, mostly, their own self and identity, when one is listening to and acting out of one’s soul and spirit more simply and directly. Ironically, this may mean or lead to more social isolation or alienation, but to a large extent, that does not matter if one is more fully true to oneself–without kowtowing, masking, or pretending to others–a large %age of what passes for typical social interaction, And without projecting onto others authority and responsibility for one’s own unique, time-limited, ephemeral, ever-changing life. Basically, assuming authorship for one’s self and one’s own life.

Only then will the alienation within cease or be no more. Only then, free of unnecessary, distracting, limited/limiting people, conflicts and contexts, will one ever be truly free and autonomous.

………………………………..

“I must create a system or be enslaved by another man’s.”–William Blake

“The goal of the hero’s journey is yourself, finding yourself.”–Joseph Campbell

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