To thine own self be true

“Life is not a series of gig-lamps symmetrically arranged; life is a luminous halo, a semi-transparent envelope surrounding us from the beginning of consciousness to the end.”

“There is a coherence in things, a stability; something…is immune from change, and shines out…in the face of the flowing, the fleeting, the spectral, like a ruby…Of such moments…the thing is made that remains for ever after.–Virginia Woolf

If accessing site from Internet, activate any photos not showing automatically, by clicking on any picture frame. Then, despite Caution, click “Continue to this website”–pics will then emerge. When loaded, double-click upper left-pointing arrow twice to re-enter entire website with all blog photos now displayed. Pictures can then be enlarged or smallened as wished by clicking on each photo per se. This blog is, incidentally, Read-Only, but you can reach me by Google-searching “Richard Davies Edmonton” for the first link which comes up–my LinkedIn address, and you can access basic and contact info there.

And third step backwards. An essential Edmo spring whether it may be April or May. The reality behind so many illusions. Hugh MacLennan called the phenomena “On Living in a Cold Country”–a wonderful nostalgic essay about growing up in Halifax around the time of the famous Explosion and how, as a teen, he slept outdoors in a tent all winter with the spirit of a hardy trapper or voyageur.                                                                                                                                              I am so looking forward to Victoria in a week’s time. (Currently alternating blissful annual spring getaways between Victoria and Vancouver–both snowless, moist-airish as opposed to dirty dry, green galore, with pleasant parks, colourful fleurs, pleasant harbours,  restaurants and shops.) Now that’s real spring, baby!

“Snow in April is abominable,” said Anne. “Like a slap in the face when you expect a kiss.”–Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Ingleside

spontaneous useless pleasures. In that, complete freedom from the herd and what Frank Lloyd Wright called ‘pig-piling’.

What arises naturally and far beyond limited, limiting conventional social (i.e. others’)expectations.

Life is, after all, for enjoyment and there is much more to life than surfaces, ruts, work, making money, and others having power or control over one.

About 10 am, driving on a busy main street; guy stopped in front of me waiting for light.
He opens his door and clumsily heaves out a pizza box which opens, pieces spilling onto the street. Closes door. Then drives on.
I guess he was finished breakfast.

…………………….

Man remains the dirtiest animal. If he’s not stealing anything not bolted down, he feels he’s totally entitled to crap all over and wreck the planet in a zillion ways. No dishes for this guy; not a problem for him. The street’s a dump. No one else on it.

Good perspectives on his part. There is way more to life than one’s personal job or career (in his case, professional hockey).

It is good to give your best and all. He did that–his ‘chicklets’ on the ice, the stitch marks from being repeatedly clubbed and hit by the puck. His turning himself inside out for all to see–his openly crying about fans’ appreciation and about the difficult decision he had made.

At the same time, though, the honesty with self–as he mentioned, he knew he wasn’t as strong as he used to be and also the idea of retirement had crept into his consciousness the past six months. He also wanted to control his fate–rather than being a pawn all over again (risking another trade, having been traded away once), he retired on his own terms.

He also chose family–or so he says, for the first year off anyway. He recognizes that off-seasons were not enough extended time with a growing famille.

He truly savoured every last moment of his retirement game. He wore his Edmo and hockey love openly and the Edmo fans reciprocated. He was truly humbled–a testament to his ‘open’ character.

Above all, as songwriter Hal David put it, “knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing anyone can learn”. Finally knowing what is most right for oneself (and sometimes one’s family), and choosing accordingly. I also suspect–him being an Oilers team man–that he made a decision which will also strengthen the team, allowing someone else to come in and potentially assume his role as a necessary veteran presence. So many ways in which this move and choice was ‘win-win’ for all.

gets in early. You see young tots trying out things, in some cases testing their audiences–siblings, parents, other kids–to see how they respond. And one learns early on that one can draw responses from others by one’s behavior or actions. Sometimes it is to draw a smile or laugh; other times, to get attention (e.g., of screen-distracted, deficit-attentioned parents who ignore their kids) or to ‘get the goat of’ someone–usually an adult or sibling.

Early on then, one becomes aware that play and behaviors are basic ways of relating to others and ways in which one can assert one’s self and satisfy unknown inner drives. We also grow used to positive reinforcement, applause, and ‘apples’. The performance bug and Shakespeare’s metaphor of life as play and as a play is hard-wired. For some–actors, writers, musical entertainers–this becomes the dominant, prevailing mode–constantly expressing and playing for the pleasure of others and to satisfy an ongoing developing inner need. A career or ‘calling’.

But I will say this. That, as the previous entry’s aphoristic quote points out–one can be “everywhere, but nowhere” at the same time. One can be very busy or fully into this mode, but it may not work best or better for the overly-committed. Take the teacher, athlete, or doctor who goes flat-out with their roles and performances. ‘Burn-out’ is a concept that has been with us for a long time. Life is best-lived with some moderation and balances.

Can one just give and give and do for others, largely unappreciated or getting little back (other than $$$), till the inner well is drained dry? Always, one has to take a realistic view of one’s own process and what price performance has in terms of personal freedom, autonomy, happiness, deep inner satisfaction, and whatever missing pieces.
So whatever performances we give in our daily lives should bear the periodic scrutiny of ‘gut-checks’. For too often, the persons we most kid or deceive are ourselves. And so it may be necessary to stop performing for a living or doing a role which no longer satisfies one’s neglected inner self.

A withdrawal from the arena, a removal of many unnecessary, unpleasant conflicts, and an escape from people one would not freely choose to spend time with. In short, the possibility of a quieter, less stressful life–one more on one’s own terms, in accord with whatever desired inner freedom and one’s truest, less compromised, more honest self.

Many people welcome new or different aphorisms in their lives, especially pithy statements which correspond to their world views and personal or past experiences. Aphorisms, then, have subjective appeal and mean or don’t mean much to a given listener or reader. But if there is truth within the concisely stated nugget of language and thought, then it has relevance, currency, and likely, lasting value.

Below some unexpected aphorisms from my reading of late–ones that gave me unexpected new insights into that which I already knew, but had never heard before encountered put quite so nicely, concisely.

Art serves to rinse out our eyes.
–Karl Kraus

I shop, therefore I am.
–Barbara Kruger

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
–H.L. Mencken

For myself, I am an optimist–it does not seem to be much use being anything else.
–Winston Churchill

Violence is suicide.
–Mohandas Gandhi

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
–Eleanor Roosevelt

History, like beauty, depends largely on the beholder.
–Desmond Tutu

Too much of a good thing can be simply wonderful.
–Mae West

It is better to live rich than to die rich.
–Samuel Johnson

The freer you feel yourself in the presence of another, the more free is he: who is free makes free.
–Johann Lavater

My business, my art is to live my life.
–Montaigne

To be everywhere is to be nowhere.
–Seneca

Boredom–the desire for desires.
–Leo Tolstoy

Better be alone than in bad company.
–Thomas Fuller

The eyes. Where the body ends and the spirit begins.
–Antoine de Rivarol

Distrust of authority should be the first civic duty.
–Norman Douglas

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
–Aldous Huxley

Only entropy comes easy.
–Anton Chekhov

The wrong way is endless.
–Bert Hellinger

A thought is an idea in transit.
–Pythagoras

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
–Socrates

Exuberance is beauty.
–William Blake

Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.
–Heinrich Heine

The genius creates harmony between the world in which he lives and the world that lives in him.
–Hugo Hofmannsthal

Shallowness spreads.
–Daniel Liebert

Few people die of love. But many of lovelessness.
–Jose Narosky

The ruts are deepest in the middle of the road.
–James Richardson

A politically correct culture is an imitation fur coat–inhabited by real fleas.
–Peter Robinson

Man would devour the stars if only he could.
–Rudolf Schroder

There is nothing in life except what one thinks of it.
–Wallace Stevens

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.
–Aristotle

A friend is your needs answered.
–Kahlil Gibran

No pressure, no diamonds.
–Thomas Carlyle

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.
–William James

Living is a constant process of deciding what we are going to do.
–Ortega Y Gasset

To fall into a habit is to begin to cease to be.
–Miguel de Unamuno

To live poetically is to densify life.
–Vilhelm Ekelund

A book is a mirror: if an ape looks into it an apostle is unlikely to look out.
–Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
–Ludwig Wittgenstein

Consciousness abhors a vacuum.
–Paul Valery

Impromptu observation of 2 year, 2 month grandson, from his car seat on drive home from day-home.

From thought to language. Independent thought and consciousness expressed as in:
“You know, it’s different outside now. I remember there used to be snow out here for a long time. Now it’s gone. A big change. Worth commenting on.”

And to say it spontaneously on his own, as a personal communication and view he is just expressing to and for others.

“Snow all gone.” An awareness of change worth expressing and sharing. Stating a fact. Connecting the external/outside with self and ‘inside’ thought and consciousness. The power and autonomy which that thought and expression brings.

Interesting lad. Knows all his numbers to 10, about 15 or more colors, all the basic shapes; says words like “elephant”, “gorilla”, “kangaroo”, “muskox”, “chimpanzee”, “rectangle”, “oval”, “circle”. Has been repeating words spoken by adults when they’re with him for a couple of months now.

Language acquisition by repetition and imitation. Juxtaposing different types of play–animals riding cars, him pushing cars with laundry basket or two step-on. Clapping for himself when he completes a task. Hugging others when he is happy at his own success. Laughing at his own attempts to create humor. Reading himself to sleep in his crib, surrounded by books. Telling his folks when he wants to go outside. Tirelessly walking long distances by himself without wanting to go home.

The capacity for growth and many possibilities. Quite fascinating to take in during these visits every week or two.

“Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.”

of the first sensuously warm spring afternoon butterfly.

(Watch where you step!)

………………………………

This butterfly has quite a range in Canada, also being found in the Mingan Archipelago Park in Quebec–which I highlighted in a fall poem comparing Mingan with the sculptures of Henry Moore.