To thine own self be true

the two key questions for one’s own consciousness and personal process are:
1. Do I feel free, especially innerly free from whatever limits, limitations, stressors, anxiety, fears, etc?
2. Do I feel a pleasurable or beautiful fullness and stillness–a satisfying inner peace and contentment which leaves me with no strong desire for Other or anything else?

(The above inner condition or state of “being” has to do with all of physical, mental, and spiritual feeling. One senses no missing pieces, a deep sense of inner contentment and soul fulfillment, and a profound, unexpected feeling of having reached ‘Home’ and the end of the life-long, restless-based quest. There is no interference from or distraction by intellect, reason, or overthinking. Just a mature sense of wholeness and ‘rightness’ about all.)

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*We are, in the end, each of us, individuals, regardless of the degree of social conditioning, relationships, and social contexts. (We have to adjust to and are responsible for living with ourselves.) To a large extent, no one else can make us happy or meet all our needs for any length of time, or unlock the secrets of our inner selves that finally identify and complete us. Only we can do this ultimate step for and by ourselves. The answers are, very much, within and findable. But it is always necessary to know, accept, understand, and appreciate ourselves to achieve the condition I’ve described above. We have to free ourselves (by “letting go”) and give ourselves the permission “to be”. This takes a personal act of faith and strong, focused will.*

The plot of Conrad’s novel is interesting enough to form the basis of a movie which Mark Peploe wrote the screenplay for and directed. The movie is voice-overed by Davidson, a character in the novel who has occasional contact with protagonist Axel Heyst. Generally, he introduces the characters and conflicts and then returns toward the end to tie up the loose ends. Peploe skips the opening section of the book about Morrison, the coal mine co-owner that Heyst befriends, saves, and is thought to have murdered, and jumps to Heyst’s meeting with Lena (called Alma here).

Willem Dafoe makes a reasonably placid, self-controlled Heyst, Sam Neill plays Jones with a homosexual, drug-consuming twist, and Rufus Sewell steals the show as the edgy, weird, ‘loose-screw’ Conrad. Director Peploe uses a woman to play Alma/Lena’s part instead of a teenager (in the original) and this loses some of the conflicts and contrasts between the novel’s hero and heroine. (Irene Jacob’s nudity is a modern concession to heighten the suspense of the turning-point rape scene.) The script generally takes pains to follow details in Conrad’s book until the ending when a number of twists are added, that make the conclusion more bizarre. Only the hasty conclusion detracts somewhat from the minimal reflectiveness about the meaning of the dramatic tragedy.

The atmosphere of the film in the first half is relatively romantic and filmed with much light–a somewhat different atmosphere from Conrad’s more sombre book. However, the ending is suitably dark and nightmarish during the storm scenes. There is no way, of course, though, that the movie could ever capture the depth of feeling and conflict of its fictional counterpart; in this, the book was much ‘better’ as they say. Still, the movie version is worth taking in just to see how much a modern, independent European film could capture of the power, menace, and chaos that are expressed in Joseph Conrad’s underrated classic novel Victory.

It is a revelation to go from Conrad’s earlier novels to this one, written as WW1 was starting. Conrad’s style changed greatly and his sentences are shorter and plainer while his diction is less obscure and much easier to digest while a reader absorbs this peculiar narrative. There is much that is familiar here to anyone who knows of Conrad’s life and earlier works: the Malaysian archipelago, a mysterious strange introvert who is in freely-chosen ‘exile’ living away from the rest of the world on an island, ignorance and societal criticism of the protagonist, a tragic end, and a stand on principles with the protagonist being true to himself.

What is different from other Conrad works is the plainer style, a strong sense of evil and menace, and a significant female character–Lena–whose choices finally give understanding to the meaning of the title. The novel is particularly strong and suspenseful from the point that three nasty minor characters–Jones, Ricardo, and Pedro–show up on Axel Heyst’s island. Conrad does a nice job on the two scenes between Ricardo and Lena as well as the chaotic, mad climax; these are some of the most powerful, memorable scenes he ever wrote.

idea-wise, Conrad focuses first on the theme of the maligned hero who is slandered without his even knowing. (This information later becomes important when Lena has her doubts about Axel after they arrive on the island.) Conrad always does a good job in showing how protagonists are affected and influenced by their social contexts and environments. Axel’s father had not only influenced his son negatively, but he has turned him into an anti-social being, unfamiliar with the ways of women and love.

But, as always in Conrad, the protagonist’s fate rests with his choices and it is these that prove to be of most interest in understanding and appreciating Axel’s character. And as usual, it is the atmosphere and setting that have the most affects on the reader– Conrad’s amazing ability to create exotic worlds of believable and stirring conflict; what made him such a great writer in his day.

“Thinking is the great enemy of perfection. The habit of profound reflection, I am compelled to say, is the most pernicious of all the habits formed by the civilized man.”

“Character is higher than intellect… A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.”

“My mama used to love me but she died.” –Hud

As his father (Melvyn Douglas who won an Academy Award) puts it, Hud doesn’t do anything for anybody else; he is totally selfish and worried only about his own agendas. And there are many scenes in which Hud can be considered a user, a n’er-do-well alcoholic, and a rebellious, traitorous son who gets pleasure out of hurting his father and others.

Though this is a character picture with other fine performances by Patricia Neal as the housekeeper Alma (another Academy-Award-winning role) and the late Brandon de Wilde (who died tragically too young in a real-life car accident) as the naïve, idealistic Lonnie who has to choose between the ways of his morally-principled grandfather (Douglas) and the troublemaking Hud–his father’s brother, whom Hud was responsible for killing in a fatal car accident.

Director Martin Ritt gets incredible performances from this cast, but especially from Newman who is alternately likable and hate-able. There is no single false note in the excellent screenplay by Irving Ravetch and Harriet Frank, Jr. who faithfully adapted Larry McMurty’s novel, which has a number of conflictful parallels to his other book and movie The Last Picture Show.

The excellent black-and-white cinematography (which also won an AA for James Wong Howe) captures the dusty feel of small-town and cattle-ranch life. The bleakness and simplicity of the setting is also conveyed effectively by the guitar-scored music of Elmer Bernstein.

This is yet another in a long series of American dream films with an aging father trying to hold onto his romantic, rural dream despite the corruption of a surviving son who wants to sell out his father and the estate to oil interests. A strong film classic, very realistic with several powerful crises. Well worth the while of any filmgoer fond of good writing and cinematography, conflict, character foils, sarcasm (Hud’s cynical  humor), and ample edgy scenes.

Dusk at the end of a beautiful, calm summer’s evening in August. I checked the side of the house where the vinyl garbage cans stood like sentinels as always. I had chained my bicycle to the fence that abutted them the previous day.

The problem had begun a couple of weeks ago when I noticed a few wasps circling me walking on the sidewalk there. I assumed they were after garbage or old food. There was in sight, though, no nest obvious on the exterior of the house anywhere. But then this week, I suddenly noticed one yellow jacket descend to the ground where the sidewalk joins the garage and a clever little hole, in spite of my previous cement patchings. One went in and then another, then another. The nest.

And so last evening I kept checking till the returnees dwindled to nil and then prepared to defile the peace of their sleep one last time. When you take a nest, you have to close windows first, then dress appropriately and move quickly and deliberately. relative to the ‘plan’, I wore disposable gloves on my hands and a paper mask for nose and mouth. The poisonous spray is extremely toxic and you neither want to breathe or touch the stuff. I still had some left from a previous kill several years back, and had forgotten what it looked like when it shot from the can. White. Pure white foam to cover the scene of the crime and then some. Slapstick hit and run stuff very much in my briefs and Crocs. And then a well-deserved shower after the whole day’s outdoor yard work.

Afterward, I kicked back and watched two surprisingly entertaining episodes of the 1950s cop show Dragnet with Jack Webb. The first was about a woman serial killer who turned out to be a man; the second was a humorous episode focused on Joe Friday’s wisdom tooth and his smart-assed partner Frank who had made an unannounced dental appointment “for Joe” after-hours. The funny episode ended after the criminal was caught with Frank’s finger in the foreground beckoning a surprised Joe to come with him to the appointment.

I hit the pillow about 10:30 and easily fell asleep for eight hours. While downstairs outside, perhaps a hundred or so wasps slept for more deeply, having unwillingly given up their myriad waspy lives about an hour before on an otherwise quiet, placid Friday evening.

Screens and digital will never love you.

(after a Saturday family party)

“Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,
Sounds, and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears; and sometime voices,
That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
The clouds methought would open, and show riches
Ready to drop upon me; that, when I waked,
I cried to dream again.”

–Caliban, Shakespeare’s The Tempest

A fast-moving documentary by Jeff Renroe made up of numerous film clips, interviews, and sound bites. ‘The King of Cool’ is revealed, warts and all, his failures as well as his successes. Interviewees include Robert Vaughn (who worked with him in Bullitt), Canadian Norman Jewison (his ‘substitute father/older brother-director who coached him in The Thomas Crown Affair and The Cincinnati Kid), his three wives–including Ali McGraw (The Getaway), his ‘cool’ son Chad, and his ‘straight-looking’ grandson Stephen.

Through them, we gain insights into the character, values, and private life of a rebel who was always true to himself. Tragically, McQueen died at 50, after a strong fight against cancer caused from asbestos-poisoning from his younger navy days. A highly recommended flick about an interesting, uncompromising actor who loved machines, mostly motorcycles and racing cars. One anecdote about this is sufficiently revealing–he finished second behind the great Mario Andretti in a big race, jamming himself into his car seat with a cast for a leg broken in six places from an earlier motorcycle accident. This speaks volumes about the truly tough guy he was.